I start with a celebration of the fact that after ten and half years yesterday I gave away my dad’s harmonium which he lovingly gifted me in the hope that one day I would learn to play it.  The harmonium had been in our attic covered in a nice clothe as I wanted to protect it but giving it away so it could be played by someone who would really enjoy it did not occur to me until last weekend when I was having a decluttering blast.

Suddenly I felt no longer sad or emotional. There was a sense of it feels right to give this a new loving home.  I messaged a family friend who is a musician and told him would he like to have it? He immediately replied in the affirmative. My dad and I never did anything by halves. I knew when he got the harmonium despatched from India for me he also ordered a book on how to learn to play this instrument. The little booklet was somewhere in the book shelf so I searched for it and also gave that away.

Those of us who have experienced the loss of someone we deeply love have often heard unhelpful comments. In particular words like move forward, let go, and or it is time to move on et cetera really are insensitive and disempowering.  In grief,  each one of us will let go if we wish and when we wish. I feel for those who are forced to make decisions to part with sentimental items in their world which connects them to their lost loved one when they are least able to make that choice. Grief has no prescribed time line we will walk the journey at our own pace and in our own unique way.

My dad was always very thoughtful and though I could not fulfil his wish of learning to play a musical instrument I know he will be happy that this harmonium like our previous one has been given to a good soul who will enjoy playing it. I also know many who will listen to the music will find it therapeutic too.

And so this journey continues each time we part with something it leaves a mark on our soul, hopefully, the mark will be a sense of yes, it feels right.  I celebrate the love I have for my father and the love I know I still have from him. He remains the most treasured gift God gave me.

If you are reading this and this resonates I hope it gives you hope. Thank you for reading this.

Peace be with you.

©DMP

8th May 2024