It has been a while since I wrote a blog.  A dear friend of mine died three days ago, she was 90 years old. My friend was a lovely soul and we spoke 266 times over a period of 6 years.  Each week on a Wednesday evening  my mobile phone would remind me to call my friend and I would do so exactly at 7 p.m. This connection came about because I volunteered with a marvellous charity founded by the amazing Dame Esther Rantzen in 2013. The purpose of this charity is to help reduce the isolation many senior citizens feel. However, this charity has done much more than this for me personally. 

After my father passed, it was a no brainer for me that I wanted to give something back so becoming a volunteer with this charity felt right.  I am really grateful that I had an opportunity through this charity to meet my friend, Maureen.

Maureen was a spirited soul, a Yorkshire lass like me so she had a no-nonsense approach to life which I admired so much. In her youth she was a Samaritan and she was a decent Christian soul. During our calls we would put the world to right. We would sometimes laugh out loud imagining her sat on her recliner somewhere in Paris with a glass of red wine in hand posing for a photograph to go on Facebook (oh yes, my friend was familiar with Facebook, she even had an IPad), and sometimes we would talk about serious subjects like death and dying alone.  We even talked about what happens after death.

The lockdown was a difficult time for us all, and we both found comfort by talking to one another through these weekly calls. Maureen loved going to her local church and during the first and second lockdown this was not possible. She missed this very much as when we are going through uncertainty, if we believe in a higher being, we turn for spiritual guidance to help us through. However, we talked about these difficult subjects, and it helped because each time we had a heart to heart, Maureen would say ‘thanks love for calling’.  Like my dad and that generation, you were not complimented in so many words, but you knew that the friendship was appreciated by both parties. 

On our 250th call I remember saying to Maureen that it was our 250th call anniversary. I thanked her for putting up with me and she laughed and said, ‘you are not that bad’.  The fact that we managed to have regular calls is indicative that those calls were helpful. To begin with I thought naively that I was giving something back but the reality was Maureen gave me so much in return. She parted her wisdom, and her kindness was evident in how she viewed life in general. Often, she would feel unwell, but she always had an attitude of the glass is half full. She would say there are people out there who have nothing so we must be grateful for everything we are blessed with, and that is so true. 

Old age is hard going so to keep making an effort when it is so hard deserves an applause.   I witnessed my friend from being this fiercely independent lady who used to drive her car and take her friends to the local supermarket for their weekly shopping, to having to give up her car and then having to use a 3-wheel walker to get around. Maureen never stopped trying to make an effort so much so that she would walk down the stairs to get some exercise. 

For me, my father’s passing was a watershed in my journey of self-discovery, and it is through this journey that I got to meet this wonderful friend of mine. I am so grateful to Maureen for coming into my world and I want to send a message to her that she unknowingly enriched my life in more ways than she can possibly imagine. Rest in peace my friend and thank you for allowing us to walk with each other for the past 6 years.  Grief has visited me again and though, in my heart I knew this day would come, after I heard she had passed I had a quiet cry. The loss I feel is deep down, the loss of an unlikely friendship that turned into a precious soulful connection which I will cherish forever. Thank you, God, for this beautiful encounter, and thank you Dame Esther for this friendship gift that brought so much joy through your charity, the Silverline. 

If you are reading this and feeling your own loss you will know each time, we suffer a loss we appreciate life even more. 

Peace be with you.

©DMP

2nd November 2022.