How to get through your loved one’s birthday?

 

In two days, I will mark what would have been my dad’s 105^th birthday. Does it matter since he is not on planet earth? It does to me. 

I have become a dab hand at this now as I have been navigating anniversaries, birthdays, and other milestone, all without him so, I here are a few tips that might help others on a similar road.

The first and most important thing to do, is to #acknowledge however, it is you are feeling.  With me it is bittersweet. The mind cannot help going back to the days when I made a special fuss to mark this day with my father. He loved getting together with friends, and that is what we did. The cooking, the preparation and the whole event would tire me out, but it was worth it. I have happy memories of those days. Now, it is different and that is fine too. 

#Gratitude is a great way to remind ourselves that what we have many do not. I know I was very blessed of all my father’s children for I spent the longest time with him than they did. Their loss my gain.

#Cook a favourite dish of your loved one and enjoy with a glass of something special. My dad loved fresh juice so that will be a nice touch.  He also loved sweet dishes for me that is a must do item because I have a sweet tooth also.

#Walking is what my dad loved most. He never missed his daily 4-mile-long morning walk. Being outdoors, and in nature is good for the mind, soul, and body. This is also the chance to switch off the mobile phone so you can enjoy the present. It is amazing to just do something different.

#Write a letter to your loved one and have a good conversation, just as if you were both in the same room.  Journaling as been my faithful companion ever since my dad passed and to this day, every morning I pen a letter to my dad. I value these precious moments with him. So in that regard, not much has changed as we still talk.

#Give your time or money to a cause close to your heart. It is surprising how giving, and sharing fills the heart with a sense of a having done a good deed.

#Dance and sing. My dad loved music and hymns, but the one song that sticks in the mind, is the Bohemian Rhapsody by the Queen. I recall my dad was driving, and I was in the passenger seat. This song came on and he laughed out loud as he saw me nod my head back and forth. I have in the past danced with his photograph in my hand, but I may have a dance with my dog.

Bottom-line, do what feels right. These are just a few ways to get through your loved one’s birthday, but remember, the key is to plan your day so you are in charge of how the day unfolds for you.

To my wonderful father,  Happy birthday Pops, I love you even more.

@Peace be with you and your loved one.

DMP

19^th April 2023.