I’d like to share an exercise with a view to helping others as well as myself. I am now starting to appreciate the magnificent power of being in a likeminded community where everyone wants to help others be their best hence why I am sharing this here.
Like so many of you I am passionate about personal growth and learning which is always work in progress. You all are in my corner, thank you!
Last Thursday during our coaching session my Coach suggested I just focused on three things normally, I have a long list as I want to go at 200mph. She was right, as I was feeling overwhelmed and it felt like a constant battle which I did not think I was capable of winning.
So the exercise I did was this:
Journal all the beliefs I hold about myself on a loose paper and put all my fears out on display Look at these beliefs and thoughts and ask why are these a real fear? Are they really true??
Thank those beliefs and thoughts as until now they have protected me but they no longer serve me.
Prune them with a metaphorical sword and cut the connection to these beliefs. Burn the piece of paper (safely ) and release these thoughts and beliefs, as they are. I did this this morning in front of my dad’s photo and my German Shepherd pup, Oscar!
Make a list of all the obstacles in life that I have overcome to date and turned things around for the better Make a note of how many times I have helped my clients to see their own light. In my case I included all my legal and coaching clients in this list.
Doing this exercise has been a good reminder of how many times I have indeed walked through the fire, and I have said to myself I will not fade in the sun.
Just a snapshot of the challenges I overcame to make this more relatable as I am certain you all have walked through your own fires time, and time again.
My journey:
Moved from England to India at the tender age of 8 and had to embrace a new culture, and new language.
Had to grow up quickly to handle my dad’s business affairs, and be his personal representative, including collecting rent from tenants at the age of 11.
Coming back to England after a family fall out and started all again in business with my dad. My education was a mess, part in a private school in England and part in India, so I had to go back into education as a mature student while also helping my father in his business. I was 20 years old.
Many thought I had scuppered my chances in education but I got a degree in law and became a Solicitor, and became the first brown skinned female Partner in a traditional 150 year old national law practise.
My dad never gave up on me and firmly believed I could succeed at anything I put my mind to and he was right. My sole aim was to make him proud and I was the only one in the family that went to university.
Completing my MBA while working full time as a lawyer.
Becoming head of department and then walking away from my career to be my dad’s full time carer during the final year of his life.
Death knocked on the door, I lost my dad, and had to navigate through grief on my own. He was my best friend.
Dealing with grief through writing blogs. Then publishing the blogs into a book to help other sons and daughters like me who had a close relationship with their precious dad. I forgot to add I grew up in a ‘broken’ family as my dad was a single dad, our mother had walked out on us when I was 5.
Rising to make sense of my empty world after losing my dad, I started running, and went from no running experience to running 4 marathons, including the London Marathon on my dad’s birthday.
Going back into law and then having coaching myself before deciding to do a coaching course. Completing the ILM7 in coaching and mentoring.
I even passed the confirmation of registration and completed my first year of a PhD before deciding that I didn’t need to prove myself. It took guts to abandon something I said I would.
Getting my coaching website done, and learning from master Coaches like Tony Robbins and Dr. Wayne Dyer to find my way into the world of coaching.
Raising my first ever dog, and that too a big German Shepherd on my own against opinions that it was difficult for a woman to do this.
I have mentioned these challenges and achievements not to blow my own trumpet but to share what I still find hard to own. Reading this it seems all this happened to another person. You will sense that in my case the question of my worthiness crops up now and then, and it is this that holds me back at times. Ironic since as a Leadership Coach I help others to find their power. But we are vulnerable inside.
I am blessed with a wonderful father and a mother who abandoned me but then thanks to my situation I am who I am.
I hope if anyone in the community who is questioning their worthiness finds this exercise as helpful as I did. Apologies this is like a long foreign office missive, this is because I love writing, and I gain more clarity as I write. Anyway, this missive is here to help anyone who needs a push up the hill because you will all reach your summit in your own magical way, never doubt that All the best and thank you for being a witness to my growth journey.
Peace be with you.
@DMP
1st October 2023
Leave A Comment